Reinforcing the importance of being my authentic self, letting feelings pass and being mindful and present to receive others
Being pared with a facilitator who had a style which was complementary to mine, allowed me to learn from what worked so well for them.
Receiving support and feedback in practicing facilitation
More practice time to facilitate and to learn from one another
My challenge from somebody who questioned the whole process.
Learning what I still need (more challenges, OK to ask speaker to repeat or clarify when I am active listener, reinforced idea of slowing down when speaking, importance of SELF EMPATHY!, facilitator should create calm ambience for all)
Getting to know fellow trainees
the vulnerability of the trainers
Opportunity to practice everything
structure that allows to share/listen equally
See the link between the value of curiosity empathy
Our facilitator was excellent.
Understanding each other and connecting values.
The transparency, humility and humanity of the facilitator and his sharing why he did what he did as facilitator.
Someone able to share a personal problem and be listened to.
The inclusiveness of the group and ability to share my opinions
Meeting kind, insightful, empathetic people
1. How do I embody and speak much more slowly to facilitate inclusion, without appearing like I am doing breathing exercises or being dramatic while I attempt this going forward?
2. What are the three crisis references I want to remember when circle members might need.
3. Where do I balance and draw the line between trying to ensure the flow (or choosing to intervene), and being empathetic and allowing everyone to take the time and space they might need to feel heard?
4. How i could convey emotion better with voice modulation or sensitivity in voice?
5. How do I sit more still and invisible, and be less expressive via body language as a silent listener, since if I might appear to move too much as facilitator it might come across as distracting for the circle since I would be visible all the time as people might stare at me often wondering about cues regarding when the time might be up.
none right now
How to make smaller rooms on Zoom and then returning to large room.
Just an eagerness to get to it. My Building Trust group has an activity planned for the Juneteenth celebration in Portland.
More on the lines of technical knowledge of doing breakout groups.
can I join the production team for the upcoming cohorts?
no questions at this time
how to deal with discomfort when I don't reflect a speaker in a right way
Keeping a balance between freedom of speech and also the value of care and respect for other peoples feelings. If someone is being verbally aggressive and disrespectful to someone in the circle I feel I will need to step in and say this is not appropriate in this circle as words are as damaging to our mental and emotional health and will also stop the circle from being a healing one.
Want to make sure that people come away with good feelings.
How I am gonna do it? Am I confident and able enough to do it?
When one is tired, how to maintain focus? My memory is not always reliable so keeping track of what everyone shared feels a bit daunting.
None at the moment.
How to successfully facilitate & organize breaking a large group of individuals into groups of 5 in an auditorium to have them practice empathic listening, after an instructional training a session.
Is it best for the active listener to repeat back everything they hear, or to summarize?
Any tips for what silent listeners can do to stay focused? ( e.g. I imagine I am the active listener to help me listen more fully)
How best to integrate the active listener role into everyday conversation?
So, I have experience people reflecting back putting their opinions, thoughts and ways of view the world and after letting clear the process of reflecting back they would reflect without putting themselves in - so transformational the energy of the process of empathy circles.
1. Have observed people with some presenting conditions relating their mental health questioning the choice of empathy circle topic (or instead proposing triggering topics), or the utility of the same, while choosing to stay and participate in the same.
2. With ADHD etc it is difficult sometimes to hold the circle structure, or make the interacting speaker or listener corresponding to that circle member feel they are holding the circle and very crucial to achieving a sense of empathy in the circle despite any communication difficulties.
3. With diversity of native language speakers, it is a difficult situation where speakers might be unable to form shorter sentences to reflect, or listeners may just give up and say they can't reflect.
When a listener continually interprets the speaker with their own spin and adds ideas to what the speaker is actually saying that isn't an accurate reflection of the speaker...If the speaker isn't saying anything about it, or clarifying the ideas being misinterpreted, I would just like to see how a seasoned facilitator would handle this in a circle.
I was challenged by somebody who wanted to speak out of turn and questioned the whole process. I explained to that person that by allowing the speaker to speak uninterrupted, they will be able to feel that they have a safe place to think and speak. And when it is your turn, you will be able to have that same surety that you will be allowed time to express your thoughts and be listened to without any other sort of interruption.
Person interrupting the process & showing empathy both to the speaker and to the interrupter
Folks that go off on tangents and speak a little to long to be able to capture and reflect in a quality manner.
English is my second language, so I may not always understand some English sayings/wording
Having verbally aggressive people in the group - especially when the anger is directed at someone in the group. They just scare people away and also people no longer feel safe to talk in the group. Have had to say at the start of my meetup meetings in London that verbal aggression is not acceptable in my group and everyone needs to talk in a respectful, non-violent way.
I think it is important for the facilitator to be 100 present, which could be a challenge for some folks, but not necessarily for me. .I think the longer times (going over one hour) is challenging for some people's energy. There are pros and cons to it. One of the great things about Peace Alliance meetings is that we often keep our meetings to one hour. That is often a protocol that is upheld and although I have felt cut off at times, I do think going for 2 and one half hours straight is difficult. I think something in between one hour and two and one half hours would be best. I like the idea of Empathy Circles being open source and I look forward to modifying it to perhaps keep the depth and intensity of the longer times, but not necessarily going for that long.
I am imaging the goal to connect more people with Empathy Circle and to bring awareness.
One person I reflected used a lot of quotes and I found that difficult to reflect - usually it takes a bit of time for me to digest a quote, especially when only hearing it - even to share the gist, never mind getting the wording correct. It seemed to work out, even though it felt taxing. I actually don't want this shared w/my name because I don't want to call attention to the person who spoke in this way - it's my challenge, yet if there is a way to address it generally that would be appreciated to learn how you handle this.
Speakers not stopping when their time is up.
The challenge is keeping the conversation intriguing, yet light and relaxed.
A person in their first ever EC who, as the active listener, repeatedly engaged in dialogue, asked questions, or carried on a discussion. The speaker gently said that they didn't feel listened to & the facilitator clearly re-explained the process, yet the person still wasn't able to repeat back and chose to leave the circle an hour early.
Am unable to think of one out of the blue right now.
I don't have one right now, thanks.
How would you most like to keep the communication going among this group's members?
maybe doing a specific survey for the last training session can better clarify the participants learnings and take away from the course
is this learning process effective for you?
What would you like to improve/change in your listening to others?
How we could connect values to make a bigger empathy impact?
Maybe asking if there's a particular interest area you'd like to explore in a small breakout group - (i.e. conflict ) which also relates to empathy (I realize this may be a big ask as you already have a full agenda.) Thanks so much for creating this learning opportunity for us.
Are there any additional tips you believe would aid in empathetic listening and why?
How was the pace of the session for you?