12.E Feedback

(Answers in red are from the 13.E that was give out by accident.)

What questions do you have about Empathy Circles, facilitation, training, etc.? We will try to answer them in the next Session's Q & A section. (30)

  1. None

  2. No questions right now

  3. none at the moment

  4. Nothing at the moment.

  5. Nothing

  6. None at this time

  7. None.

  8. How to use Empathy Circles effectively as a tool for conflict resolution in a charged circumstances?

  9. I am interested in learning more about restorative justice and empathy circles?

  10. Resources

  11. Please cover the "buddy" assignment again. I missed it.

  12. Asked in the session but not answered: do you have experience using visuals - either shared screen or poster, to outline the various roles and process

      1. ?

  13. Is it appropriate for a silent listener to nod in agreement or show other indications of how they feel?

  14. What is your current favorite definition of 'empathy'?

  15. What is your current favorite quote about 'empathy'?

  16. Why are the Monday evening Empathy Circles on Google Meet/Meet Me?

  17. Why do I get so nervous?

  18. Maybe facilitators plan the three levels of challenges prior to meeting so there is a consented agreement on what takes place at each level.

  19. It would be interesting to learn about common challenges that could arise based on your experience of facilitating empathy circles.

  20. Is it possible to have one central issue to be the topic of discussion for the day?

  21. 1. When participating in a Buddy call is it generally more effective to

    1. a) empathetically listen for the full 15 minutes then reflect back in summary or

    2. b) have pauses so the reflection is more frequent? I realize that it depends on the individual!

  22. In a public meeting, how do you handle hearing a participant express racist, homophobic, misogynistic (etc) attitudes? or referring to another participant in a derogatory manner? (Maybe you could demo this?)

  23. What If a individual speaking uses a word or concept wrong. What should the active listener do? Go with the flow, make the correction ad hoc, put it in the chat, or correct when the speaker? What should the facilitator do?

      1. Just try to reflect the speaker so they feel heard and understood. When it is your turn to speak you can correct the use of the word or concept if you want. It is then your time to say whatever you want.

  24. Boundary keeping.

      1. (The Empathy Circle process is a boundary. Participants are bounded by the structure of the process to which they have voluntarily agreed to follow. The facilitators learn how to maintain those boundaries in an empathic way.)

  25. Any tips on integrating empathetic reflection into daily family life?

  26. What are some tips on integrating empathetic reflection into daily family life?

      1. That is a big topic. Try to hold empathy circle with your family. Do it on a fun topic like, "What was your best experience in the last month?"

  27. In response to the question in the opening session, about expressions of racism etc during the circle, I think I heard Linda mention stating guidelines at start of circle and then reminding people that they had agreed to them. What are these guidelines? I don't remember seeing them or agreeing to them. Thanks.

      1. People are free to speak freely when it is their turn to speak. That is within the turn taking and time limits of the Circle. We do not put limits on people to speak at the beginning of the circle. All comments and feelings are welcome to be expressed. Racism is a form of judgement. There are many, many forms of judgement. Judgement is a block to empathy. However, as a speaker the speaker can express judgement, and it is met with Empathy by the listener. This eventually transforms peoples judgments and they grow in their empathy. The empathy circle is a way to learn to meet judgements with empathy and transform it.

  28. Re homework: Are the Empathy Buddy Calls required for the certificate? If so, how many? 4? (5? Also Week 5?) Are the 1 hour family/friends or creating Empathy Circles required? If so, how many?

      1. Only attendance in the 5 Sessions is required for a certificate of attendance. Empathy Buddy Calls and holding family and friends Empath Circles are not

  29. Where we can practice Empathy Circle facilitation?

What was most valuable about this Session for you?

  1. Our facilitator was excellent.

  2. Understanding each other and connecting values.

  3. The transparency, humility and humanity of the facilitator and his sharing why he did what he did as facilitator.

  4. Someone able to share a personal problem and be listened to.

  5. The inclusiveness of the group and ability to share my opinions

  6. Meeting kind, insightful, empathetic people

  7. Seeing how the facilitator dealt with challenges throughout the circle/discussing values linked with the process

  8. The value of freedom

  9. Mutuality

  10. Asking about my values

  11. the break out room

  12. Having the opportunity to review the how to do an empathy circle was super helpful

  13. Preparation and delivery

  14. Having an opportunity to work with the new facilitator trainees.

  15. Practice

  16. The discussion of the group

  17. Learning from everyone-e.g. the gentle way the session was led, the people who answered the questions; the trainees in the BO group

  18. Chance to practice being the facilitator

  19. The ability to practice facilitating a circle

  20. Resilience

  21. I got nervous about my role in the debriefing session, when I really should have gotten nervous about facilitating in the breakout room.

  22. I was challenged but had a lot of fun at the same time.

  23. The other members of the break out rooms.

  24. Experiencing the challenges; watching fellow trainees facilitate

  25. Challenges and how to manage them

  26. Selene sharing her experience on how she resolve dispute in a neighbourhood

  27. 1) Listening to how people in the breakout group responded to the challenges Dwayne skillfully gave & his very helpful advice about anticipation & viewing things as learning opportunities rather than 'mistakes'. 2) Experiencing a range of kind & thoughtful speech.

  28. The interruption opportunity.

  29. Repetition and challenges

  30. Connecting with others

  31. Overcoming my fear of facilitating.

  32. Practicing facilitation with challenges and feedback.

  33. 1) Delving deeper into definitions of empathy
    2) Listening to how other people in the breakout group responded to the challenges Edwin gave
    3) Experiencing a range of thoughtful speech.

  34. Learning about other participants and having the opportunity to practice empathic listening and dealing with challenges. Appreciated the atmosphere Selene fostered in our session - calm, patience, openness, honesty. Made for a very rich exchange.

  35. Being a trainee with Selene.

  36. Challenges and how well I done.

What would you change about the Session to make it better for you?

  1. Maybe have more of a debrief within the group and less of one with the larger group.

  2. I would not change anything.

  3. People remembering to mute when they're not speaking.

  4. If a person speaks less than the time allowed, they should be able to pass the baton to the next person or sit in silence, their choice.

  5. Attending the Wednesday pre-facilitator/training meeting will allow for greater clarity on the structure of the cohort sessions.

  6. The session duration to be 2 hours rather than 2.5 -perhaps with the breakout Empathy Circle being shorter.

  7. Nothing

  8. Nothing

  9. Nothing.

  10. A duration of 2 hours rather than 2.5 hrs.

  11. maybe a little longer on the circle (I guess was about an 1hr:15m because people newish to the process were just about getting used to the way it works)

  12. Nil

  13. Nothing, So far so good.

  14. it's perfect!

  15. During the introductions instead of asking people to talk about their Buddy calls, just let people talk about whatever. I didn' t have a Buddy call and I was skipped over very quickly, too.

  16. Nothing at the moment.

  17. Clearer simulation instructions - i.e Were we just facilitating a breakout session or an entire training? (I had assumed a breakout and that there would be overall orientation done in a session before the breakout).

  18. Duration of 2 hours rather than 2.5 hours

  19. Clearer on who does the challenge

  20. We had 4 people in our room. And one had a poor oconnection, so it would have been better to have another participant.

  21. Better planning on challenge approaches, and kindness as challenges are accomplished

  22. It could be a bit shorter.

  23. Change the check-in process from full group at the beginning to just be w/review of the day's plan and then add it to process in the Breakout room where it might feel more connecting and less redundant. Maybe also add a question earlier in the process asking participants, if they're willing, to share their experiences before this training with empathy and facilitation ?

  24. It is working well

  25. Nothing for now

  26. Not sure

  27. Nothing at this time

  28. Do the opening check-ins in the small groups rather than the large session and focus them on what's alive for folks today rather than reporting in.

  29. Nothing.

  30. More time for every participant to facilitate the Empathy Circle

What questions/concerns do you have about facilitating Empathy Circles? We will try to answer these questions in the next Session.

  1. When one is tired, how to maintain focus? My memory is not always reliable so keeping track of what everyone shared feels a bit daunting.

  2. None at the moment.

  3. How to successfully facilitate & organize breaking a large group of individuals into groups of 5 in an auditorium to have them practice empathic listening, after an instructional training a session.

  4. Is it best for the active listener to repeat back everything they hear, or to summarize?

  5. Any tips for what silent listeners can do to stay focused? ( e.g. I imagine I am the active listener to help me listen more fully)

  6. How best to integrate the active listener role into everyday conversation?

  7. Nothing

  8. maybe a little longer on the circle (I guess was about an 1hr:15m because people newish to the process were just about getting used to the way it works)

  9. Nil

  10. Nothing, So far so good.

  11. it's perfiect!

  12. During the introductions instead of asking people to talk about their Buddy calls, just let people talk about whatever. I didn' t have a Buddy call and I was skipped over very quickly, too.

  13. Nothing at the moment.

  14. Clearer simulation instructions - i.e Were we just facilitating a breakout session or an entire training? (I had assumed a breakout and that there would be overall orientation done in a session before the breakout).

  15. Nothing.

  16. Duration of 2 hours rather than 2.5 hours

  17. Nothing

What is an Empathy Circle Facilitation Challenge you have experienced, have seen or imagine having? Describe it and any questions, concerns, comments, ideas, etc. about it? (we will try to address those in the Session.)

  1. I think it is important for the facilitator to be 100 present, which could be a challenge for some folks, but not necessarily for me. .I think the longer times (going over one hour) is challenging for some people's energy. There are pros and cons to it. One of the great things about Peace Alliance meetings is that we often keep our meetings to one hour. That is often a protocol that is upheld and although I have felt cut off at times, I do think going for 2 and one half hours straight is difficult. I think something in between one hour and two and one half hours would be best. I like the idea of Empathy Circles being open source and I look forward to modifying it to perhaps keep the depth and intensity of the longer times, but not necessarily going for that long.

  2. I am imaging the goal to connect more people with Empathy Circle and to bring awareness.

  3. One person I reflected used a lot of quotes and I found that difficult to reflect - usually it takes a bit of time for me to digest a quote, especially when only hearing it - even to share the gist, never mind getting the wording correct. It seemed to work out, even though it felt taxing. I actually don't want this shared w/my name because I don't want to call attention to the person who spoke in this way - it's my challenge, yet if there is a way to address it generally that would be appreciated to learn how you handle this.

  4. Speakers not stopping when their time is up.

  5. The challenge is keeping the conversation intriguing, yet light and relaxed.

  6. A person in their first ever EC who, as the active listener, repeatedly engaged in dialogue, asked questions, or carried on a discussion. The speaker gently said that they didn't feel listened to & the facilitator clearly re-explained the process, yet the person still wasn't able to repeat back and chose to leave the circle an hour early.

  7. Participants not understanding fully the role of the active listener so not really attempting to reflect but instead interpret.

  8. No challenges

  9. Remote session, lack of finances to purchase data for the session

  10. How to deal with someone that wants to talk all the time.

  11. Need better communication and safe space to be critical.

  12. Speakers not taking pauses for listener to reflect back

  13. A participant wanted to share a sexual experience. As the active listener, I paraphrased what he was saying in a safe way.

  14. Looking forward to practicing with challenging behaviors

  15. Person new to Empathy Circle who wanted to give a pop quiz about empathy to all in the group.

  16. How to challenge, yet support, someone who finds it very, very hard to repeat back when in the active listener role because they constantly want it to be a dialogue & to engage with the content?

  17. No challenges yet. Remember, I can always walk away from the computer.

  18. My husband wanted to speak without reflecting. When we shifted gears we noticed the conversation felt a bit more "judgemental", so we went back to reflecting.

  19. People denouncing the practice

  20. My challenge was that Celene was agreeing with me at the end of her reflection of me, and it was hard to interrupt her and remind her that she'd get an opportunity to expand on her feelings when it was her turn to be speaker.

  21. I don’t advise a suicide in the third training, but it was so poignant and wow! What if I had to deal with something that complex.

  22. I feel comfortable with the idea of challenges.

  23. Objecting to being bound by the process

  24. Someone choosing to use their Speaker time to recount details of incidents rather than reflecting & so delving deeper into emotions or meaning or learning from the incidents.

  25. See above

  26. Interruption

  27. In the past I was part of an empathy circle where it didn't go well because I believe the facilitator didn't listen to the participants and keep to the "everyone should have a turn" to be the active listener" idea and did not want two people to switch roles.

  28. Somebody unfamiliar with the process, wanting to interject their own ideas and experiences before it is their turn.

  29. Flexible roles due to anxiety e.g. the nominated Active Listener morphing into being the Speaker & vice versa.

  30. Because there aren't agreements in our intro, I imagine someone might say something when their turn comes that might sound disparaging of another participant or of people in general? Even while observing the only speak when you're the speaker rule, two participants in a circle get into an argument. What is your protocol for handling that?

Write a question you think we could add to this post-session survey?

  1. is this learning process effective for you?

  2. What would you like to improve/change in your listening to others?

  3. How we could connect values to make a bigger empathy impact?

  4. Maybe asking if there's a particular interest area you'd like to explore in a small breakout group - (i.e. conflict ) which also relates to empathy (I realize this may be a big ask as you already have a full agenda.) Thanks so much for creating this learning opportunity for us.

  5. Are there any additional tips you believe would aid in empathetic listening and why?

  6. How was the pace of the session for you?

  7. None

  8. None I can think of.

  9. No questions

  10. What is your understanding of Empathy before your first session of the cohort training of Facilitators?

  11. Nothing, So far so good.

  12. none

  13. NA

  14. Did you learn any new facilitation tools?

  15. nothing right now thanks

  16. ?

  17. What did you learn from your Empathy Buddy call?

  18. Nothing to add here

  19. What's the best way for the active listener to assure empathic listening is occurring for a speaker that is new to empathic reflection?

  20. Would you invite someone to this empathy circle?

  21. Can't think of one.

  22. Did you have a problem finding your empathy buddy list which made meeting your buddy at the last minute. Instead of all that have it as link #1 then go through list 1-5. Have it as a go to link.

  23. Are there modifications or qualifications of words or terms that you would like to add?

  24. Is there a new insight or learning you took from the session?

  25. What is to celebrate about EC?

  26. Between a scale of 0-1 rate your willingness to listen to people without interjecting

  27. What is one thing you know now which you didn't know before the session?

  28. Nothing comes to mind

  29. Nothing

  30. How do you stop buddy calls from being too long?

  31. How are you feeling at the end of this Empathy Circle.

  32. How might the session time have been used differently?

  33. Maybe - Is there something you'd like the Training to cover that it hasn't thus far? - ?? Thank you all!

  34. What are the levels of challenges and how much intense are they?